Amazon Rainforest
Travel Tips

10 Super Serious Amazon Survival Tips

Despite its beauty, the Amazon can have its dangers. Don’t let the cute monkeys fool you. Here is a list of mostly don’ts for you to follow the next time you inadvertently end up in the Amazonian jungle.

01. Don’t get lost:
There is no reason a tourist should be wandering out into the jungle alone. That thing you see 50 meters off the trail isn’t a giant anaconda it’s just a vine.

02. In case of huge anaconda, catch it!:
The risk of a nasty bite, asphyxia and possible death are worth the $50 000 being offered by the Wildlife Conservation Society. All you have to do is catch a live an anaconda measuring more that 9 meters/ 30 feet. Easy! and the $50 000 will definitely help your odds of surviving the jungle. Remember just avoid letting it bite and strangle you, and you should be fine.

03. Eat weird new things!:
How often in your life will you get to eat a 3 inch/8cm live beetle larva? That wriggling grub is full of fat to give you that extra energy boost to walk those last few miles out of the forest.

04. Don’t eat random berries:
Trying local cuisine and new foods is great, but just because it looks like a blueberry doesn’t mean it won’t kill you.

05. Don’t pet the spiders:
Yes, they may look soft and cuddly but looks can be deceiving. Those hairs on that tarantula are actually used for self-defense and are quite irritating when they get into your nose and eyes. Oh, and they bite too.

06. Don’t try to be Tarzan:
I admit those vines can be tempting. Almost everyone has fantasized about being the king of the jungle, but even Tarzan’s loincloth won’t protect you from a vine breaking and laying you on your backside.

07. Don’t pee naked while you in the river:
No one will deny the lure of skinny dipping mixed with public urination, but the Amazon River is not the place! There are little fish that like to swim up peoples private bits when they try this combo. If you are going to pee do it outside of the water, like normal people, behind a tree.

08. Always take a towel:
I think this is a little self-explanatory

09. Don’t sleep with the Chief’s daughter:
We have all seen enough movies to know that the head honcho of a native population doesn’t take kindly to those shenanigans.

10. Stay positive!:
You may be lost. You may be tired. You may be hungry and you may be dehydrated, but don’t give up! Francisco de Orellana was in a similar spot and he ended up being the first person to explore the entire Amazon River. Who knows what you will find? or maybe you will never make it out like the 3140 that got lost with him, who knows?

Remember these are just survival tips and by them I do not suggest the Amazon is a scary, lethal place. In fact, there are many companies (like mine!) that can show you how amazing and beautiful the Amazon Rainforest really is.

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